APRIL FOOL Wandsworth Council has drawn up detailed plans to convert Church Square – the cobbled public space beside St Mary’s Church at Putney Bridge – into a bus turning circle and terminus, in what officers are describing as “the most significant intervention to date” in the fifteen-month effort to improve traffic flow through Putney Bridge junction.
Under the proposals, routes 85, 220 and 485 would terminate in the square rather than pass through the junction. Passengers wishing to continue their journey would alight and make their way around the church on foot, passing the relocated war memorial, to board onward services from a new Super Bus Stop to be constructed on the current site of The Rocket, the JD Wetherspoon pub adjacent to the river.
The council confirmed the plans were drawn up during the current pre-election purdah period, describing them as “operational rather than political.” A spokesperson said the timing reflected the urgency of the situation. “The junction is not going to fix itself,” they said. “Although it has been trying.”
Council Leader Simon Hogg said he was proud to put his name to the scheme. “Good traffic management is at the heart of everything we do,” he said. “For too long, Putney’s junction has been frozen – the cars haven’t moved, the buses haven’t moved, and frankly neither has our thinking. This plan changes that.”
Asked whether the plans were financially viable, Cllr Hogg noted that Wandsworth Labour had frozen council tax for the ninth consecutive year. “We have frozen the things that should be frozen,” he said. “Including Putney traffic.”
Heritage statement
The square’s cobbled surface would be replaced with asphalt suitable for bus axle loading, after a council heritage assessment confirmed the cobblestones did not meet the threshold for statutory protection. The square’s mature trees would be removed to accommodate turning geometry, with the council committing to plant “an equivalent number of trees in suitable locations across the borough, to be identified.”
The war memorial currently standing in the square would be relocated to a position adjacent to the new Super Bus Stop, “where it will continue to be respected and maintained,” according to a council statement.
Cllr Hogg said the location was in fact uniquely appropriate. “People forget that it was in St Mary’s Church, right here, that the Putney Debates took place in 1647 – the moment when ordinary soldiers first argued that every man should have a voice in how he is governed. It seems entirely fitting that Putney should once again lead the way, this time in bus network rationalisation.”
The new Super Bus Stop, to be built on the cleared site of The Rocket following the pub’s demolition, will serve as the interchange point for all onward journeys. It will feature real-time departure information, space for up to 40 passengers, a small retail unit, and 50% affordable seating.
Transport for London (TfL) said it was “unable to confirm or deny” the connection time arrangements at this stage, adding that it was “currently prioritising inaction on a number of other schemes across the network and would not want to prejudice those commitments by moving too quickly on this one.”
Whatever the Whether
Planning permission for the demolition of The Rocket was submitted earlier today (Ref: 2026/0401/AF). The council said it anticipated “a streamlined process” given the transport public interest case. A Wetherspoon’s spokesperson said the company was “in dialogue with the council” and would not comment further, except to point out that the children’s meal deal is a bargain at £4.99 and Kronenbourg is just £3.20 a pint on Mondays.
A spokesperson for the Putney Cycling Forum said the group had studied the proposals carefully. “We welcome any reduction in through-traffic at the junction,” they said. “However, we remain concerned that the focus on bus infrastructure fails to address the fundamental question of why so many people feel they need to travel by any motorised vehicle at all. The main barrier to cycling in Putney remains, as our research confirms, the existence of hills, rain, children, shopping, and distances exceeding half a mile.”
The consultation is expected to open in spring, close in autumn, and ignore what residents say anyway.
Nice April Fool story!!!!!!
April Fool!
Hoping this is to celebrate 1st April???
Actually had me for a couple of minutes…
Got me! :~○) x
That’s very good, I loved the little humorous touches sprinkled throughout!
Very good
Hmmm, what day is it today?! But well done
A Pub Razed in Loss. APRIL. You almost got me there. Well made satirical points re Council Leader Hogg and TFL
A splendid spoof! The author should be knighted. Was it Kieren?